In praise of....praise?

I started talking to my dogs today.

No. Not in the "I'm an animal communicator" sort of way.

Nor in the sappy, "Would poopsie like another cookie" sort of way.

Nor in the "Do what I say immediately, or I will correct you!" training sort of way.

Just talking.

Looking them in the eye when they made contact with me.

Light touches, soft eye contact, and low, quiet words of acknowledgement when they checked in with me, or asked for attention.

Full, meaningful sentences and explanations and 'thank yous' for our simple everyday interactions. Not because they know each word I'm saying, but because they are masters of reading body language, human signals of intention, and tone of voice.

It's something I haven't done with my dogs for a long time. I know that might sound strange to you. It sounds strange to me.

But somewhere along the way of becoming and being a professional dog trainer, handler, exhibitor, and breeder...I forgot to be a dog lover.

Shocking. But true.

I found myself ashamed, saddened, and yes - shocked - to admit today to both Lisa and myself, that I often have a stronger heart connection to the some of my client dogs than I have with my own!

How did this happen?

Somewhere along the way, I believe I confused teaching dogs to be mannerly with teaching humans (including myself) to view all dogs as errant children - all the time. But no child (or dog) is good or bad allll the time!

Somewhere along the way of 'fixing' dogs, I forgot to remind my clients and myself that it's okay to LOVE them at the same time!

Then, when I was introduced to food training, I became something of a 'born-again' foodie. Somehow, when my dogs' faces lit up with the mention of food for obedience, it felt pretty good. It felt better than just ignoring them or correcting them for bad behavior.

But that was short-lived, and those of you who have taken any marker/food classes with me know that I quickly revert to the old method and abandon the food rewards. Many of you do, as well.

Why?

Well, I realize that for me, feeding a dog for obedience doesn't work. That's a personal opinion, by the way, and for those who like food and its incredible power in training, I am okay that you like it!!!! (And this is subject for a whole OTHER blog - coming soon.)

However, it just doesn't *feel* right for me and I didn't like the way my dogs still didn't seem to be working out of joy and companionship and respect and loyalty and all the reasons I train with dogs - Now - with food - instead of working for me out of fear of a correction, they all seemed to be saying, "Ok, but where's my cookie?!"

This was deflating: correction-based training was a 19 year journey, and food training has been an additional 2 year journey of learning, and I still feel as if something is missing...

Then, through doing some research on autism in animals I stumbled upon an interesting website: The Harmony Program by Sylvia Kent-Hartmann

BANG. Lightening bolts from the sky. Cherubim and Seraphim and all the other Angels and Trumpets, too.

Holy hand grenades, Batman, this makes SENSE to me.

I looked back through some of my earlier dog training influence books - especially those by Carol Lea Benjamin - and found much of the same mentality regarding dog training that I used to use when I began training some 21 years ago.

So...

I am taking baby steps.

Today I started talking to my dogs instead of just at them, or about them.

And something amazing happened. They responded. Not because there would be food, or there was anything expected from them, or there would be a correction if they weren't spot-on with a command.

We were simply a bunch of sentient creatures, hanging out as a family, enjoying each others' company.

I have more than a few of my human dog training clients to thank for this. You know who you are.

I thank you.

My dogs thank you.

Rock on.

Jennifer